Some differences

Vila Nova de Milfontes
May 31, 2009

We’ve been travelling for a week and a half now. First Madeira without the kids and now Vila Nova Milfontes for the last week. Vila Nova Milfontes is a small, oceanside village in the south of Portugal. It is known for really good surf, good fishing, and of course good sun bathing. There are many beaches to choose from on any given day. One can choose a remote beach hidden between high cliffs or wide open, white sand beaches with aquamarine waters. There are so many beaches that it is easy to escape a crowd and enjoy a whole sweep of beach all to ourselves.

It has been a calm and relaxing week full of sunshine, sand and water play. After a weekend away from our kids, in Madeira we’ve been enjoying Marcos and Jenna’s energy and full days of playing in the sand. We’ve travelled to a different beach with each day we have been here. We’ve eaten a great variety of meals for better of for worse. I look forward to not feeling full at any given moment. Lipe was with us until Friday. We’ve been with Geninha and Filinto the entire time. We’ve enjoyed our time together and their love and attention to our kids but I’m pretty sure we mutually agree that it’s time for some distance. We’ll head back to Chaves tomorrow. I need to be back in our space with our stuff and with our own pace.

Portugal becomes less and less and more and more a mystery every time I visit. I’m fascinated by the vast differences in our cultures. Some of the things I’ve been noticing:

Lots of public displays of affection. Teenagers, adults – any place, any time are going at it… passionate kisses, loving caresses, tender embraces. Love is in the air in Portugal. Duarte has always been very affectionate – especially in the early days of our relationship. Being American and being conservative about public displays of affection I have curbed his open affection over the years…. Now I realize it is a part of his upbringing. Even with family members, Portuguese family members hold hands, hug, kiss, play with each other’s hair, etc. This is very different from my affectionless upbringing. I love that our kids are learning about affection and open love. Why hide it?

Portuguese are always late.

Portuguese cannot say goodbye.

Fashion matters way too much – but the fashion is sooo ugly from my American viewpoint.

A good cup of espresso completes a meal.

Wine is a staple of this culture. It is served at lunch and dinner and it is good!

I can’t figure out the two kisses thing. Who do I give two kisses to? Whom do
I just shake hands? Greetings are terribly awkward.

Portuguese sleep late, eat late and go to bed late. I’ve been out until 2:00 a.m. on many occasions since we have arrived and honestly it seems early when we finally turn in! Just the other night, we purchased a used surfboard from a classified ad at 1:00a.m. It was the seller’s idea! We then went out for drinks afterwards.

Food is plentiful – to a fault. I’m tired of food. Really tired of food. We’ve been eating in restaurants since we left Chaves and I have an opinion about how the Portuguese eat. The quality of the food is always extraordinary. Food is simply prepared with olive oil, salt, garlic and piri piri and it is ALWAYS delicious and ALWAYS abundant. As much as I enjoy the incredible food, I’m tired of the waste. The portions are huge and could easily be split between two or three people. After eating a big meal, we leave enough food on the table to feed two or three people. Taking food with you is unheard of unless you are truly taking food to feed your dog. Even then, take away boxes are hard to come by. Portuguese do eat well but I’m so full I could be happy not eating for the next week.

Enough for now. My affectionate husband awaits with a bottle of port and dessert. Go figure. I had a cup of espresso only minutes ago and it is now 11:00pm. I’m still dizzy and uncomfortably full from our huge fish dinner accompanied by local wine. I’m dressed in my fashionless American clothes and am eager to get into my ugly comfy pajamas but who knows if we’ll be out later or not. I’d like to stop writing but feel I can’t or I might offend. So… two kisses or a hand shake or simply a “prazer” I don’t know……………………I don’t know! Boa Noite???!!