Alone?

Ahhh. A moment to myself - which rarely seems to happen while we are in Portugal. Our interaction with Duarte’s family is so intense that we are with them from morning until night. This isn’t necessarily bad but I do feel like I’m “on” all of the time. I feel like I don’t have a place just to be me. In the United States our lives are busy and full but there are segments of time when individually we can get away. Even when I am working I am on my own. I am an autonomous woman in the United States. Living in a different country and living with Duarte’s family leaves me feeling overly dependent. There is so much that I miss and so much that I just don’t know. Adapting to another culture is not easy at all. A simple drive alone to the grocery store is stressful for me as I don’t know what the traffic signs mean or I don’t know to weigh the bananas before I get to the check out line – and so I am always accompanied by someone. Duarte must interpret everything.

After 10 days away, we have returned to an arid Chaves. The kids are in bed and Duarte is out with Lipe. I’m enjoying the night air on the front step of our village house. The sky is bright with color as the sun sets and the heat from the day is radiating from the granite street and granite walls. There is a gentle breeze. Voices from nearby houses fill the air as all the doors and windows are open allowing the night air to cool their warm houses.

I sit with a glass of wine. I take a deep breath. I take time to appreciate this beautiful world full of life around me. I can’t help but note the collision of cultures as I sit here with my computer while those around me have just put their plow horses away for the night. There is no cable up here. No satellite tv, no internet. There is a village phone that is located in someone’s house in the center of Sao Lourenco. I’m certainly out of place here – but so grateful to be in this place because this moment is mine alone.

And I’m glad I made note of it because now I see headlights shining on the house in front of ours and I hear the Land Rover’s engine. And once again, I’m no longer alone.