The Kids - January 26

The Kids

There have been so many changes in our lives since moving to Portugal most of them have been for the better but a few of these changes have been difficult. To live abroad for 6 months with a four year old and a 12 month old certainly has its challenges. Overall, we are doing really well. Jenna has had the least difficulty transitioning. I think Marcos feels that changes more than anyone.

Jenna has it so good over here. A day in the life of Jenna begins at 6:00am. No matter what time she goes to bed, she will wake up at this time. She is our own personal rooster. For better or for worse.

We take Marcos to his school around 9:15am and then Jenna gets dropped off at Quinta da Mata. This is a house full of love for our little girl. Her grandmother greets us at the door every morning, anxiously waiting to take Jenna from us. Jenna loves the attention. Her grandfather warmly embraces her as well and the fun begins. It’s impossible to walk into Quinta da Mata without eating, so Jenna is quickly taken to her high chair where she enjoys a breakfast of yogurt, bread and cheese.

Duarte and I work in the mornings, so Jenna stays with her grandparents. Through the morning, Jenna takes walks outside to see the animals. She knows all of the animal sounds now and loves to point and say “bah, meow, arf arf, or ee-aw" depending on the animal she has encountered. Because she spends so much time at Quinta da Mata, I think she understands Portuguese better than English which makes me feel a little awkward because I'm how to speak to her.

When we arrive at lunchtime, Jenna is taking a nap in her bedroom. She wakes up just before lunch is over. She will eat a nice, hearty soup and a few bites of whatever it is we are eating. She is a good eater – much to her grandmother’s delight. Her tummy is growing and her “fabulous thighs” are becoming even more fabulous.

Duarte and I exercise in the afternoons – taking off for about three hours at a time. While we are away, Jenna reads books with her grandparents, rides her little tricycle, plays with her toys and gets much love and attention. When we leave, I feel little guilt, because I know she is happy and well cared for. Her grandparents are delighted to spend the time with her and they are full of stories about her day when we arrive. It’s wonderful for everyone.

When we take Jenna out in public, it’s an experience. The Portuguese are crazy over babies. They kiss their faces, hold their hands, touch their lips, speak baby talk close to their faces. (It’s no wonder Jenna and the rest of us have colds now). When we carry Jenna in the backpack, people are unreserved with their amazement of such a contraption; commenting enthusiastically about what a good idea it is. I cannot believe the commotion that backpack creates every single time we go out with it. The other issue is that babies just don’t go outside when it is cold. When she is out, everyone tells us that she is cold. Of course she isn’t cold, we know how to dress a baby for inclement weather; we’re from Pennsylvania.

Our evenings are playtime. We spend time with the kids and play together until dinner. This is a nice time for us. Because dinner is served so late here, we typically arrive home at 10:30 or 11:00pm – Jenna does well with the late hours but falls asleep quickly once she is in her cozy bed.

Marcos had a difficult first month but he is doing much better now. His frustration with all of the change, a routine he couldn’t on, and a language he didn’t understand was evident with his irrational displays of violence. Marcos was hitting everyone who came within 2 feet of him and fiercely yelling at everyone else. His transition was hard on us all.

Eating is another problem for Marcos when he is under stress or really all of the time but more so with change. Therefore, our move to Portugal has brought about his own self-induced hunger strike. The eating battles begin at breakfast. Marcos refuses to eat anything – even if it’s leftover chocolate cake from the night before. We convince him to drink a yogurt and then we head down the mountain to his school in Vilar de Nantes. He complains the whole way to school that he doesn’t want to go. When we get there, we stop and talk about the morning with him and he then bravely walks into school. I admire him for the ability to do this. In his pre-school, the kids wear blue checked smocks to keep their clothes clean from their art projects. Marcos looks so cute wearing his and carrying his little backpack containing a mid-morning snack. Once he is in the school, he is fine, for the most part.

The little school in which he attends is nice. We send him there in hopes that he will learn Portuguese and enjoy time playing with other kids his age. There are 8 kids in the class – 5 girls and 3 boys, ages 3-5. The morning is unstructured. The kids enjoy playtime until circle time, which is at 10:30. This is Marcos’ least favorite part of his day. He doesn’t know the words to the songs they sing and there is a little train game they play each morning and Marcos is always picked last and therefore the caboose. This makes him really mad. However, he likes Wednesdays when they have gymnastics day. Once a month, there is swim lesson day. He loves to play in the little kitchen. There is a computer in the classroom and he likes to play games on it. Unfortunately, Marcos has had a few confrontations at school where he has hit another little boy or even the teachers. The teachers think this is because of his frustration of not being able to express himself. We are working on this and the problems seem to be decreasing. In fact, today Marcos sang the American alphabet song for his class and now all of the kids are interested in learning it.

At 12:00, Marcos is picked up by his grandfather and his school day is over. After school Marcos has about an hour of time to play before the lunch battle begins. He likes to ride the tractor with his grandfather or dig in the dirt or ride his bike. There are always new animals being born each day on the farm and that is fun to see as well. We force feed Marcos at lunchtime and then he goes off to play some more.

He has a room at Quinta da Mata where he takes naps each day. He needs his naps desperately as he is affected by the fewer hours of sleep we get each night.

Sometimes we take Marcos into town with us in the evenings while we run an errand or go to the library. Marcos is really affected by all of the stares we receive everywhere we go. He cries, he yells, he gets so mad. He really wants Duarte to teach him how to say “Stop Staring at Me!” in Portuguese but Duarte won’t tell him.

Marcos’ quick comprehension of Portuguese has amazed everyone. He is like a sponge. He has surpassed my language ability already (which isn’t saying much). His accent is perfect. I am certain by the end of the 6 months he will be fluent… if not sooner… and then he really will tell people to stop staring at him. We’re in trouble.

Marcos adores his Uncle Lipe and his Aunt Susana. Yesterday, Marcos said to me… “Let’s go back to State College, I’m ready. Tell Lipe and Susana they can come too.” It’s hard to explain to him that we are going to be here until summer. He would be delighted to go back home to his familiar life and leave his sister behind. He hasn’t been nice to Jenna at all. I suspect this is because of all the attention she receives.

Overall, Marcos is happy. He is busy with all kinds of new adventures each day. The first 3 weeks were really difficult with him and just when we thought we couldn’t take it anymore, his behavior has improved. Thank goodness. It may be because he is learning to speak more Portuguese. I know that this life is good for him as he has lots of time with his family, lots of time to play outside and time to learn another culture and language. It really is a more simple life.

Six months in the development of a child is a long time. This experience will enrich both Marcos’ life and Jenna’s life in many ways, though Jenna won’t remember the time here. I am proud of them for being able to do this at all. It is a big change. A good one.