6 days to go...

Today is Christmas. We will be leaving for Portugal in only 6 days. We did manage to get our plane tickets cleared up with a few problems attached to our horrendous itinerary – nevertheless we will be flying out on December 31.

I am experiencing an overall sense of calm in these days leading up to our journey. I attribute this to our present reality – which isn’t reality at all because we are in Florida enjoying family, warmth, sunshine and the absence of all the stressors in our life. We took Marcos to Disney World on Friday and had an incredible day. On Saturday Marcos and I were able to see the musical production of the Lion King which was also incredible. Sunday and Monday were spent with family in Cocoa Beach. Spending time with my family these days feels more precious than ever due to our impending departure. The health issues that those close to me are struggling with are heartbreaking. Every moment matters as well as every spoken word. I am focusing on living in the present.

And so we will fly home on the 27th from Florida. We’ll spend 3 days preparing our house, our bags, our jobs and our selves for the next 6 months. It’s difficult to visualize our lives there in that tiny home in that little village in that ancient country. Though I have visited Portugal many times – the entire experience still seems unfathomable. I don’t know what to expect…

What I anticipate is a small, damp home with electronic church bells clanging outside our window every fifteen minutes. Will I be able to sleep? Granite walls, scrapes on my children’s knees. I think I will feel awkward as our family will be foreigners in a native village. What we will do each day? How will our time be structured? Will we all get along? I imagine the time will pass quickly – yet also feel long at times. I will be in my husband’s world without my friends, my job, my belongings,– is that ok? We will travel to beautiful places. Life will be more interesting. We will have time… time for all of the things we never seem to have time for…most importantly time with our kids. I am glad to leave behind the guilt I feel every morning when I drop Jenna and Marcos at daycare. This move to Portugal is big and I will do my best to embrace it as I realize this will be a defining experience in my life. I long for a NEW PERSPECTIVE on everything.

I feel brave and adventurous, scared and nervous.