A good friend came for a visit. We first met Tyrone while living in State College. He moved to Australia a year and a half ago. Coincidentally, he was in Europe for a wedding and so he decided to “pop over” to Portugal for a few days.
Introducing Tyrone to the Tras-os-Montes region of Portugal was great fun. It provided me with a good dose of perspective as well. His observations were interesting and insightful and helped me see some of the things I sometimes take for granted. It was also good for me to have another person with whom to speak English.
We enjoyed full days of exploration. We traveled to small villages, high mountains, and to castles. We ate tapas in Spain and philosophized the meaning of travel and the privilege to do so. Duarte’s mother provided us with abundant meals as always and the kids enjoyed it all with us.
The weather has changed from chilly to warm. The sun is bright and strong. It seems the best place to escape the afternoon heat is the swimming pool at Quinta da Mata. A plunge in the spring water pool is most refreshing! A cold pitcher of beer and lunch were served while we sunbathed and played in the crystal, clear water.
Duarte has just left with Tyrone to go to the airport in Porto which is an hour and a half away. The kids are playing on the back patio in their swimsuits while I recline in the shade with little to do for the remainder of the afternoon.
Friday, June 10, 2011
A Better Day
A better day
Our first mountain biking outing was enough to get me out of my funk. True to form it wasn’t a simple out and back trip. There must be drama and struggle and an element of the unknown if it is to be a good day of mountain biking for Duarte and I.
Nothing can be finer than a breezy morning in full sunlight amidst the open valley of Chaves. A ride back in time…a simpler yet maybe harder time. We followed dusty sheep paths through the base of the valley. Passing old men and women working with their ancient tools in their large fields of wheat, corn, potatoes, etc. We called out “bom dia!” They watched us curiously with their leathery faces that were too surprised to smile or to lift a hand in greeting.
In town we hopped on the “cyclovia.” Five years have certainly brought progress to the city. I can clearly recall running through town during sabbatical a few years ago. I could not have attracted more attention as a woman exercising in town with brightly colored clothes on. Everyone stopped to look. I despised the attention but yearned for a place to exercise. Now the paths are filled with men and women dressed in exercise clothing and exercising. Progress is good.
Off the bike path, across the valley and up the mountain range surrounding Chaves. We climbed and climbed and climbed. Wrong turn after wrong turn on worn sheep paths finally brought us to a stopping point. I decided to consider our long history of getting lost and strongly encouraged my dear husband to trust me.
Three hours later we arrived at Quinta da Mata sore and tired and just in time for a large and delectable meal. Now really, why should I complain?
Our first mountain biking outing was enough to get me out of my funk. True to form it wasn’t a simple out and back trip. There must be drama and struggle and an element of the unknown if it is to be a good day of mountain biking for Duarte and I.
Nothing can be finer than a breezy morning in full sunlight amidst the open valley of Chaves. A ride back in time…a simpler yet maybe harder time. We followed dusty sheep paths through the base of the valley. Passing old men and women working with their ancient tools in their large fields of wheat, corn, potatoes, etc. We called out “bom dia!” They watched us curiously with their leathery faces that were too surprised to smile or to lift a hand in greeting.
In town we hopped on the “cyclovia.” Five years have certainly brought progress to the city. I can clearly recall running through town during sabbatical a few years ago. I could not have attracted more attention as a woman exercising in town with brightly colored clothes on. Everyone stopped to look. I despised the attention but yearned for a place to exercise. Now the paths are filled with men and women dressed in exercise clothing and exercising. Progress is good.
Off the bike path, across the valley and up the mountain range surrounding Chaves. We climbed and climbed and climbed. Wrong turn after wrong turn on worn sheep paths finally brought us to a stopping point. I decided to consider our long history of getting lost and strongly encouraged my dear husband to trust me.
Three hours later we arrived at Quinta da Mata sore and tired and just in time for a large and delectable meal. Now really, why should I complain?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
bored
Bored
There probably aren’t many people who would find themselves bored in another country the way that I do when we are in Chaves. I am so bored.
When we travel I am happy and alive and enjoy exploring places with my husband and with our children. When we are at Duarte’s parents house, I am forgotten. I am a shadow. A body. Someone might remember to speak to me once during a meal – but they may not. I don’t have much to add to a conversation with my limited Portuguese. The family has a year’s worth of catching up to do and they take advantage of every moment together. I love this about them but I’m bored.
I could jump into the giant Land Rover and explore town but I struggle with the traffic rules, the size of the vehicle, the expense of gas. At home I know how to navigate myself. I can visit with friends, go grocery shopping, clean up my house, go for a walk, take the kids somewhere. I feel a great big barrier of uncertainty here that keeps me from my independence. I know…I should have figured this out years ago. Not yet.
Duarte is fully engaged with his parents, his brother, his work. He spends hours at his computer - which he must do to justify being away from the office. This leaves me with the kids for a long portion of the day and so little for us to do. If it is raining, I am doomed! Duarte means well but balancing his work and his family in Portugal isn’t easy. He is happy here. I want to be and can be at times but there are long stretches when I am not.
We travel to Portugal every year with the purpose of exposing Marcos and Jenna to Portugal and the culture. The time here is meant to allow Marcos and Jenna to develop a relationship with their grandparents, with the land, with the language. I see it all happening. It’s wonderful. Duarte wants me to be here for the same reasons. We have traveled here every year since we met and I have learned much about the culture. My Portuguese vocabulary increases with each visit. I appreciate this time for what it is and for how it helps me grow but the tedium of day after day of being an afterthought is agonizing. I need direction!
What is the answer to this dilemma? I would love to know….
I have proposed to Duarte that in the future I come only for a short time – a week or two rather than a month! He is disappointed by this idea. He would like for us to find a way to be here and be happy as a family. This time is important to him.
Another idea is to find a social network, where Duarte isn’t my world. I agree that this would be helpful. However, I have found that many people aren’t comfortable speaking English. My limited Portuguese unfortunately limits me to rather shallow conversation.
Perhaps the solution would be more clear to you as an outsider. I have yet to figure it out. I’m bored and disengaged and ready to not figure it out.
Help!
There probably aren’t many people who would find themselves bored in another country the way that I do when we are in Chaves. I am so bored.
When we travel I am happy and alive and enjoy exploring places with my husband and with our children. When we are at Duarte’s parents house, I am forgotten. I am a shadow. A body. Someone might remember to speak to me once during a meal – but they may not. I don’t have much to add to a conversation with my limited Portuguese. The family has a year’s worth of catching up to do and they take advantage of every moment together. I love this about them but I’m bored.
I could jump into the giant Land Rover and explore town but I struggle with the traffic rules, the size of the vehicle, the expense of gas. At home I know how to navigate myself. I can visit with friends, go grocery shopping, clean up my house, go for a walk, take the kids somewhere. I feel a great big barrier of uncertainty here that keeps me from my independence. I know…I should have figured this out years ago. Not yet.
Duarte is fully engaged with his parents, his brother, his work. He spends hours at his computer - which he must do to justify being away from the office. This leaves me with the kids for a long portion of the day and so little for us to do. If it is raining, I am doomed! Duarte means well but balancing his work and his family in Portugal isn’t easy. He is happy here. I want to be and can be at times but there are long stretches when I am not.
We travel to Portugal every year with the purpose of exposing Marcos and Jenna to Portugal and the culture. The time here is meant to allow Marcos and Jenna to develop a relationship with their grandparents, with the land, with the language. I see it all happening. It’s wonderful. Duarte wants me to be here for the same reasons. We have traveled here every year since we met and I have learned much about the culture. My Portuguese vocabulary increases with each visit. I appreciate this time for what it is and for how it helps me grow but the tedium of day after day of being an afterthought is agonizing. I need direction!
What is the answer to this dilemma? I would love to know….
I have proposed to Duarte that in the future I come only for a short time – a week or two rather than a month! He is disappointed by this idea. He would like for us to find a way to be here and be happy as a family. This time is important to him.
Another idea is to find a social network, where Duarte isn’t my world. I agree that this would be helpful. However, I have found that many people aren’t comfortable speaking English. My limited Portuguese unfortunately limits me to rather shallow conversation.
Perhaps the solution would be more clear to you as an outsider. I have yet to figure it out. I’m bored and disengaged and ready to not figure it out.
Help!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Obidos
Today we explored the great walled city of Obidos. Obidos was originally a Roman settlement dating back to the 5th century. It is located on a hilltop, encircled by a fortified wall. Duarte and I had been there before with Marcos when he was two years old and Jenna was in my belly. Our previous visit was fun but this visit was extraordinary.
Upon entering the walls, Marcos and Jenna’s imaginations exploded. Immediately they were searching for knights and soldiers, kings and queens, unicorns, fairies, enchanted gardens. And you know what, we found evidence of them all.
First we spent a few dollars to encourage their fun. A wooden sword for Marcos and a wooden wand for Jenna along with painted wooden shields for them both was all it took. The fantasy grew from there. They jumped from doorway to doorway seeking enemy invaders. With swords and wands they successfully battled all evil that stood in their way.
We explored back alleyways. We found an enchanted garden and Jenna looked closely on the ground for unicorn footprints. We saw one! It was white and shaped like a small horseshoe print. We saw deer and of course, they were enchanted as well. Jenna decided that they must be the prince and princess transformed into deer by “bad guys.” It was our quest to change them back to their true forms.
More hiking and exploring revealed magnificent purple flowers-which most certainly housed sleeping fairies. We found carvings on the medieval walls as we climbed to great heights to overlook the miles and miles of land surrounding the walled city.
Today was one of those rare days we have as a family where we all enjoyed the fun of fantasy and exploration. I saw the world in my children’s eyes. Marcos is of the age where he knows our stories aren’t real but he’s not ready to release the idea of fantasy just yet. Jenna was fully engaged. The two have become the BEST of friends since arriving to Portugal. As a parent this is wonderful but a bit worrisome as they scheme and tell secrets and have a world of their own just between them.
Beautiful memories today.
Friday, June 3, 2011
guiltless days
I called to check on Marcos and Jenna yesterday who are enjoying time with their grandparents in the north of Portugal. It was hard to track them down. Apparently, they have been quite busy driving the tractor, gathering eggs from the chickens, washing down the horses, building bridges and who knows what else.
When Jenna finally made it to the phone she spoke to me only in Portuguese. I had to remind her that I prefer to speak english. "OK"
"So Jenna do you miss me?" Jenna: "Yes"
"Are you a little bit scared without us?" Jenna "No"
"Are you having fun?" Jenna "Yes"
"Are you eating lots of junk food?" Jenna "Yes"
"I miss you Jenna" Jenna "I miss you more"
Laughing she runs off to something more interesting.
Marcos never did come to the phone.
The kids are fine.
Without any guilt whatsoever, Duarte and I are enjoying a very restful getaway. When all guilt and worry is removed from a mother's life - she becomes...a more familiar, a more peaceful self. Hello Susanne. It has been a long time.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
good work
Duarte's conference with the United Nations World Tourism Organization opened last night with a splendid, evening cocktail party upon an open deck overlooking the harbor of Vila Moura. We watched the sunset while sipping regional wine and enjoying a grand spread of appetizers.
To be among some of the world's great people who strive to make a difference in the world through the implementation of tourism was truly humbling and I said as much to Duarte. Since leaving my job at Penn State, I have felt lost as I have had to re-evaluate my career and even to some degree my life's purpose. I enjoy making a difference in the world and I have yet to find a means to do so in Raleigh. Duarte's work to use tourism to fight poverty and to preserve culture impresses me. I'm proud of the work he does and the difference he has certainly made to countless people's lives.
While discussing this with one another at the party, a man I had noticed earlier joined us at our table. Very quickly, we learned that this man's ambitions through tourism were in great alignment with our own ideals. Earlier we had been commenting on a flyer (the one and only flyer) that was enclosed in the conference bag. Titled "We Can End Poverty" the flyer listed four goals - one of which included selecting one teenager from each major area of conflict in the world, titling them Peace Ambassadors and have them represent their countries at the Olympic Games. Well, this pushed all kinds of buttons for me. I am supportive of working with young people to make a difference - but for what reason? What outcome would come of this to make the kids' lives better? An organization can't just take these kids away from their cultures no matter how horrible they are, drop them in a Marriott, give them a title and hope that their lives improve. And low and behold, the creator of that flyer was the man who had just joined us.
Having an opportunity to challenge the man and his ideals with my reservations, I acted upon it (of course I did). To my great surprise, he responded with such thoughtful, insightful and beautiful ideas. Within minutes, I was captured by this man's passion and his quest. I wanted to be a part of it too.
After an enjoyable conversation, we parted ways so that he could get on with his networking. We exchanged emails. I mentioned to him that I am in search of great work in this world and that I would like to be a part of his effort. He assured me I would hear from him again. I hope that I do.
And so, a series of coincidences led me to at least have hope for my professional future and if not just hope - some new ideas. How exciting.
To be among some of the world's great people who strive to make a difference in the world through the implementation of tourism was truly humbling and I said as much to Duarte. Since leaving my job at Penn State, I have felt lost as I have had to re-evaluate my career and even to some degree my life's purpose. I enjoy making a difference in the world and I have yet to find a means to do so in Raleigh. Duarte's work to use tourism to fight poverty and to preserve culture impresses me. I'm proud of the work he does and the difference he has certainly made to countless people's lives.
While discussing this with one another at the party, a man I had noticed earlier joined us at our table. Very quickly, we learned that this man's ambitions through tourism were in great alignment with our own ideals. Earlier we had been commenting on a flyer (the one and only flyer) that was enclosed in the conference bag. Titled "We Can End Poverty" the flyer listed four goals - one of which included selecting one teenager from each major area of conflict in the world, titling them Peace Ambassadors and have them represent their countries at the Olympic Games. Well, this pushed all kinds of buttons for me. I am supportive of working with young people to make a difference - but for what reason? What outcome would come of this to make the kids' lives better? An organization can't just take these kids away from their cultures no matter how horrible they are, drop them in a Marriott, give them a title and hope that their lives improve. And low and behold, the creator of that flyer was the man who had just joined us.
Having an opportunity to challenge the man and his ideals with my reservations, I acted upon it (of course I did). To my great surprise, he responded with such thoughtful, insightful and beautiful ideas. Within minutes, I was captured by this man's passion and his quest. I wanted to be a part of it too.
After an enjoyable conversation, we parted ways so that he could get on with his networking. We exchanged emails. I mentioned to him that I am in search of great work in this world and that I would like to be a part of his effort. He assured me I would hear from him again. I hope that I do.
And so, a series of coincidences led me to at least have hope for my professional future and if not just hope - some new ideas. How exciting.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Em Portugal
June 1, 2011
Em Portugal…
We crossed the ocean and then crossed the country and now we rest. After two long days of travel, we arrived to the south of Portugal. This is the land of hedonistic tourists – mostly British who look like sunburned piggies with their bright pink skin sprawled upon colored towels all over the beach. The south of Portugal attracts mass tourism, which is never our preference, but really we aren’t complaining. We are here for a conference. This is work.
We met Duarte’s overjoyed parents at the airport in Porto upon our arrival and dropped Marcos and Jenna with them. With hardly an utterance of “goodbye” the Morais family giddily drove North with our children for a few days of most certainly complete and total indulgence.
Duarte and I drove 6 hours south having not slept since 2 nights before. We somehow managed to find our destination and instantly felt revived upon seeing the expanse of the emerald blue ocean just steps from our hotel. Duarte swam and I showered and we enjoyed a quiet dinner in an open café.
Sleep came quickly and deeply and it lasted a very long time.
And now…more rested, we sit near the beach and breathe and ponder our personal and lifestyle changes that have occurred in the past year. When we traveled to Portugal from PA, we were always starving for sun and play and time together as a family. We would dive in head-first and absorb every aspect of it through every pore. Now, almost a year has passed since we moved to Raleigh and Duarte and I both have recognized that we are happier people this time around. We are easing ourselves into the rhythm of our time here. We have a happy and abundant life and it’s gratifying to have the perspective to see it and feel it.
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